respect my __________.

At Northwestern, every year new students go through a series of programs [Essential NUs] to help guide them through all the new experiences that come along with being in college. Tonight, my group went through the Diversity and Inclusion program. The most impactful aspect of this, is the interactive part. The speaker reads aloud various statements about identity (pertaining to race, religion, gender, sexuality, family background, etc.). If members of the audience feel as though the statement is reflective of who they are, they stand. The purpose of the activity is to create a sense of community among the members of the freshmen class.

During the breakout sessions, students are given a card that reads “respect my ______.” The blank is left for them to fill out.

Doing this activity with the new students, it reminded me of what I had written on my card exactly a year ago. Well I suppose it didn’t remind me well enough because I can’t remember the word I wrote, but I know the sentiment is the same this year. Today I wrote out “respect my sweetness.” Maybe sweetness isn’t the right word to encompass everything I wished to put. If I could have endless words I might have written out: “respect my voice, my laughs, my smile, my humor, my puns, my sensitivity, my heart, my kindness….” You see, it’s not always easy studying engineering, surrounded by mostly males, and frankly quite analytical people. I don’t want to stereotype all engineers and put them into a box, but let’s be honest. The school of engineering and applied sciences is just not the same as the school of communication (neither being better than the other). People wouldn’t assume, based on who I am generally, that I love math. It’s hard to be taken seriously because I love One Direction and baking cookies.

But today, I am writing this because I am happy + confident in who I am. I may be sweet and giggle a lot, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t also be strong and smart. I am not confined to any stereotypes that the world creates or assumptions people will make. And so I will continue to love chocolate and cry during rom coms. I might (ha I will for sure) laugh too loudly at puns. And then on Monday morning I will go to class and math (it’s a verb, right? #wordsarehard) like there is no tomorrow.

All I’m asking is that you respect my sweetness and I will respect every itty bit of you.

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.” ~Zoey Deschanel