“the end of small talk”

A few days ago, one of my friends shared this article on Facebook. I opened, intrigued by the title, read the first few lines, got distracted (probably by someone poking me on Facebook), and never finished it.

Today, it showed up on my newsfeed again and I knew that I just had to finish reading it. It was fate. This article and I were clearly destined to be united.

I dislike small talk, but more often than not, I find myself bringing up the weather in casual conversation. So much so, that last year one of my New Year’s resolutions was to stop talking about weather. That lasted maybe 30 minutes. Why? Small talk is perfectly in the middle of my comfort zone. It’s easy and I never have to worry about a person really disagreeing with me or offending someone (unless they’ve got some major beef with snowy days, but that’s a whole different issue).

Reading this piece reminded me of how lovely my conversations during formal recruitment were. I decided that I didn’t want to talk about majors, winter break, or hometowns (the go-to topics for all sorority members). I made a conscious decision to skip the small chat and it was fun. I had some of the best times with strangers that I have ever had.

Those kind of convos shouldn’t be restricted to an effort in making long days filled with forced discussion more interesting. As Tim Boomer points out… best case scenario “every date [will turn] into a real connection, or at worst, a funny story.” There is no downside to big talk. It may be uncomfortable and require more effort, but now, it is back on my list of resolutions and I truly want to work on it.

The next time I’m tempted to say “oh my this weather is craazyyy”, maybe I’ll talk about art or travel or ask “if you could make a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, what would you put in it?”

If you have any favorite big talk conversation starters, let me know! xoxo